


Coincidence

by crwbanlletchwith



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2501555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crwbanlletchwith/pseuds/crwbanlletchwith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Dream Thieves (written before I read Blue Lily, Lily Blue).<br/>Gansey continues his search for Glendower, and now Blue has started her own quest to find her mother. This brings them a lot closer and it's getting more and more difficult for them to ignore their feelings.<br/>This story focuses primarily on Blue and Gansey's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This is my first Raven Cycle fic, as I said in the summary, I started writing this story before BLLB came out, so just keep that in mind. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think. Cheers.

“Are you sure this is the place?” asked Blue, shining a flashlight among the trees.  
Gansey didn’t answer.  
They had been searching this forest for 25 minutes (but it felt more like an hour) because Gansey had found a possible lead to Glendower’s location and –despite Blue’s protest that it was late, dark and they could check it out in the morning –had dragged her along with him. Nothing looked out of place in this forest, hued leaves spattered the ground, no words were etched on the stones and the trees only whispered when the wind jostled their branches. Blue looked over at Gansey. He knelt in the scattered leaves, brushing them aside to study the bare ground, before moving on to look at something else.  
Blue tried in vain to ignore that he was wearing his glasses, but she couldn’t seem to stop staring as he studied a small stone in his hand. He looked at it as though it held all the answers; where Glendower is; why Noah is re-enacting his death; if Adam is okay; what will Ronan take from his dream next? A thought flashed in her mind, that maybe the stone knew if she would be the one to cause Gansey’s death, or was it just a coincidence that they’d met?  
There are no coincidences.  
Obviously the stone held no interest to Gansey at all, because after a moment, he placed it back on the ground and stood. He must have sensed that Blue was watching, because he turned to look at her, meeting her gaze. She turned dramatically and gestured wildly to the surrounding trees “What are we even looking...” she trailed off when something caught her eye.  
“Jane?” Gansey asked “What do you see?” But she just she pushed through a couple of small bushes -a few thorns catching her bare arms on the way- to a tree that was easily twice the size of its comrades, ignoring Gansey’s calls. But the size of the tree wasn’t what caught her eye. No, what caught her eye was the carving in the trunk. It looked like a raven. She’d been around Chainsaw plenty of times to know what one looked like.  
“Fascinating” Gansey came up behind her, his breath stirring her hair. Blue moved aside, giving him access to the tree. He reached up to trace the carved bark with his finger when thunder sounded and Blue heard the soft patter of rain on the higher leaves. The strength of the wind increased greatly; throwing eddies of leaves into the air. The rain came down harder, soaking straight through Blue’s clothes and she felt a squelch in her shoe when she took a step back. All this had happened in a matter of seconds after Gansey had touched the trunk.  
“Gansey” Blue tugged on the sleeve of his collared shirt “I don’t like this, we should go. Gansey?” He remained staring at the tree in awe, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb. Thunder roared again, and lightning struck a tree 20 feet away. Blue shrieked and fell back into the damp leaves. Gansey finally fell out of his trance and spun towards her. He seemed to realise for the first time, the predicament they faced. Blue couldn’t hear anything over the roar of the wind but she saw Gansey bend down in front of her and his mouth moving as he said something to her. The only word she managed to read from his lips was “Jane” and he pulled her up.  
They ran.  
Lightning lit up the forest all around them, casting sinister shadows of tree branches that stretched and tried to pull them back. Blue stumbled over a root and Gansey caught her, grabbing her hand and pulled her along. Mud speckled leaves swirled around their feet and rain ran into Blue’s eyes, combined with the darkness that enclosed them, Blue could only see a few feet ahead of her. She tried to focus on Gansey’s feet instead, following their step, trusting them to direct her.  
Finally they burst out of the forest, the thunder and lightning ceased instantly, the wind calmed and the rain fell in a light drizzle. It was as if it had never happened. The only evidence that it had happened, was Blue’s dripping hair and the burning soles of her feet. They stood at the edge of the forest for a moment, panting.  
“Coincidence” Blue said. Gansey barked a laugh and turned to face her. A familiar feeling crept into her stomach when he looked at her, as if something were coiling into a tight ball. It was the same feeling she had when they had shared that pretend kiss, the one they’d agreed never to speak of again. And they hadn’t.  
His gaze dropped and his expression changed suddenly. Blue couldn’t identify it until she looked down herself. It was longing. For his hand was still entwined with hers. She knew she should let go, but she didn’t. His thumb stroked the inside of her wrist, over her pulse point and she shuddered. Looking back up to his face, she found his eyes already searching hers for any restraint. He didn’t find any. However before Blue could even think about how dangerous this was, Gansey dropped her hand and walked over to the Camaro.  
Blue glanced back at the forest. The weather was completely calm now, save for the occasional tree branch bending and swaying under the influence of the light wind. She sighed and walked over to the car, to find Gansey fussing with his phone. “So Jane, what do you want to do now?” he asked, his eyes never leaving the phone.  
“Are you kidding?” Gansey looked at her then, surprised she didn’t want to go off on another adventure “I want to go home.”  
He nodded and smiled, but not before Blue noticed the disappointment that lined his features “Do you mind driving? I have a few calls to make on the way back”  
Blue was surprised he trusted her to drive his car, especially after what had happened with Ronan, but she agreed, climbing into the driver’s side.  
They’d made it two-thirds of the way back to 300 Fox Way when Gansey had finished making his call to Malory and explained everything that had happened that evening. From what Blue could tell Malory wasn’t very helpful in response. In that time, Blue’s hair and clothes mostly dried, though her shirt still clung to her skin. The Camaro sputtered a few times but thankfully kept moving. Gansey tried to call Adam too, but he didn’t answer. Blue tried not to think too much about what that could mean. Clearly frustrated, Gansey tossed his phone on the dashboard and stared out into the night.  
They sat in silence for a while, the silence only broken by the occasional patter of raindrops on the windshield. Blue realised suddenly, that tonight was the first time they’d been alone together since their pretend kiss. While the memory made her smile- a sad smile- it also gave her a headache if she thought about it for too long. She decided to focus on something else instead.  
“What happened back there?” asked Blue, her voice coming out hoarser than she would have liked.  
“Something -or someone- clearly doesn’t want us to find Glendower” he paused “or maybe even your mother” he spoke the last part quietly, as though he was unsure whether he should say it. Blue wasn’t sure where Maura was but it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that she was now mixed up in all this. Blue only nodded and silence befell them again. She pulled the Camaro up to the kerb and wracked her brain for something to say.  
“This is me” Blue stated dumbly, gesturing to her house. She didn’t get out though. The atmosphere of the house was much different without Maura. The absence was obvious and while Blue knew her mother could handle herself, she couldn’t help but worry. A determination to find her grew every day, but after tonight, Blue felt crestfallen and lost.  
Gansey seemed to understand this and his words found her “You can come back to Monmouth Manufacturing with me if you’d like? There’s plenty of room.”  
She shook her head “No, I’m alright” She regarded him. Gansey. That’s all there is “I don’t think it would be a good idea if I- we might...”  
“Blue” he breathed, raising his finger to caress her face. His fingers felt warm on her cheek and Blue was startled at this delicate touch, as if he were handling something fragile. She startled once more when she realised he hadn’t called her Jane. Gansey leaned across the gearshift towards her, his hand slipping down her neck. Distantly, Blue noticed that the collar of her t-shirt had shifted so her collarbone was exposed. When Gansey’s fingers made contact with it, she shivered at the feeling of something pulsing through her. Pleasure?  
He bent his head toward hers, his lips inches away. Blue was consumed by the smell of mint, the smell of him. She almost forgot how dangerous this was.  
If you kiss your true love, he will die  
“Gansey” She warned, her voice was unstable, faltering on the second syllable. Gansey drew back slightly and fixed her with a look; his iris only a thin ring around a dark pupil.  
“I just want to pretend” Gansey said, his breath fanning Blue’s flushed skin “I want to pretend I could.” Blue felt her stomach plummet, the same feeling she would get when she was younger, swinging on a swing-set when Maura would push her forward. He leaned forward again and her eyes closed; a futile attempt to keep her grounded.  
“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I kiss you” he continued “maybe it’s only if you kiss me.” With his right hand still pressed into her collarbone, Blue felt his other hand brush her hair from her face. She almost whimpered at the touch.  
This is dangerous; a voice repeated in her head, but she tuned it out and leaned in, snaking goose bumped arms around his neck. Gansey’s nose ran up the column of her neck, along her jaw and Blue let out a contented sigh “Gansey...”  
She felt him smile against her cheek and he continued his path to her lips. Gansey’s lips had only barely brushed hers when the sound of his phone ringing filled the car. Blue was jolted from her mint filled daze and jumped back from Gansey, alarmed at what they had almost done.  
Gansey closed his eyes –disappointment cresting his face –leaned back in the passenger seat and picked up his phone from the dashboard. He answered.  
“Adam” She heard a grainy voice –who she supposed was Adam –coming through the other end, though she couldn’t identify what he was saying “yeah, I called to tell you about what” he hesitated “Jane and I had discovered...” Blue stopped listening after that, her mind whirring over what had just happened between them. How could she have let them go so far? She could have killed him. What if Adam hadn’t called at that moment? One thought ran through her mind while sinking back into the seat.  
There are no coincidences


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised here is chapter 2. Hope you enjoy

Gansey arrived back at Monmouth Manufacturing an hour later. For much of that hour he sat in the Pig and thought about what had just happened. How could he have let it happen?   
He could have died.  
He stepped into the building. It was gloomy inside, the only light source being the moonlight that shone through the high windows, casting an eerie glow into the room. Gansey stumbled toward his desk to turn on the light. When the room lit up, his eyes fell straight to his model of Henrietta, remade after it was destroyed, sitting proudly in the middle of the room. More cereal boxes were stacked up next to the model and Gansey considered continuing his insomnia induced project- he knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight, his dreams would be plagued by ravens, and lips and her.   
However, Gansey thought better of it and turned off the lamp, letting the moonlight shadows stretch for him as he sauntered to his bed. He flopped onto it and stared at the ceiling. When feeling like this, his mother would suggest talking to someone. But this wasn’t a mundane problem he could talk about with anyone. Because this wasn’t just some girl he was falling for. This was Blue. This was practically life or death. Die by her kiss, or die never having felt her kiss.   
Who would he speak to anyway? In his small corner of the universe, Gansey had a limited choice of friends. He knew of Adam’s previous feelings for her, heck it was because of his fondness for her that they had first met Blue, so he wasn’t an option. Ronan didn’t even know of Blue’s... predicament, much less how Gansey felt about her. He'd probably be much too unsympathetic about it anyway, telling him to grow some balls. Then there was Noah, who Gansey hadn't seen for days. Blue was by far the easiest to speak to and she was the source of the problem.   
He groaned and slipped his glasses off to rub his eye with the heel of his hand.  
“What’s up?” Gansey sat up, putting his glasses back in place on the bridge of his nose. Ronan stood a few feet away in the doorway of his room, holding a box of cereal. Light spilled in from his room, so it took a few moments for Gansey to see anything of Ronan other than a sillouette. Ronan stuffed a handful of lucky charms into his mouth, looking as disinterested in life as ever.  
“Just frustrated about Glendower. It’s harder to find him than I thought” It wasn’t a lie, Glendower did play a small part in his frustration, just not the main part.  
“So you didn’t find anything?” he asked digging his hand further into the box.  
Gansey sighed “There was a peculiar tree.”  
Ronan snorted “When isn’t there?” Gansey smiled, but he had a feeling the emotion didn’t reach his eyes.  
"A raven was carved into the bark. What do you suppose that means?" At that moment, Chainsaw flew up onto Ronan's shoulder and began prodding his neck. Gansey had to bite his tongue to stop him from saying it. However, he didn't have to say it, Gansey had been friends with Ronan long enough. He smiled knowingly, stroking his dream-thing's feathers, such a gentle gesture for someone Gansey had always known to use his hands to strike.  
"I don't know. That weird Glendower stuff is your thing. I already have my own weird thing" Ronan gestured to Chainsaw, who squaked in response. Shoveling more lucky charms into his mouth, Ronan asked “So are you going to go back?”   
“Not yet. I’ll wait a few days, try to gather more information about it, perhaps Malory could help. Jane almost got hurt this time, I don’t want anyone to die because of me”  
“Blue’s a big girl. She can take care of herself” Ronan spoke with his mouth full, so Gansey only just managed to decipher what he had said. “If she decides to come with you and dies” Gansey flinched, but Ronan was staring into the box so he didn’t notice “that’s her fault, not yours.”  
Gansey knew she could look after herself. My god, do I know. But if she died, he would never be able to forgive himself. If anything happened to any of them while looking for Glendower for him, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. It would be one less person in his corner of the universe. Better he die than those he cared for.  
“Well” Ronan announced, tipping the cereal box upside down over his mouth to find he’d finished the whole thing in the space of their conversation “Here’s another for your model.” He placed it at the top of the pile, then went back to his room, closing the door behind him. The room plunged back into darkness, leaving him with only his thoughts once again.  
Gansey sighed, though he knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight, he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes anyway, and pretended –just for the moment –that he could.   
***  
The following morning, Gansey sat alone in Nino's. He hadn’t heard from Adam since their conversation on the phone the previous day. Ronan was already 20 minutes late, which meant he was still asleep and probably wasn’t going to show up.  
Blue came out of the kitchen holding a pitcher of water and began offering re-fills to the early diners. Gansey sat up straighter and tried his best not to stare at her. He did anyway. It was the first time he’d seen her all morning, the first time since they almost kissed. He watched her smile politely at the customers  
She glanced up while walking over to the next table, looked at him. His heart stumbled in its’ haste and he couldn’t help but smile. The moment seemed to stretch out for minutes, when it only could have been a few seconds. Instead of returning his smile, she gave him a pained expression and looked away, returning to her work. Gansey couldn't stop the disappointment that no doubt flashed across his face.  
“She likes you too, you know” he swung his head toward the voice, to find Noah sitting opposite him. Gansey still couldn’t get used to his silent entrances and he doubted he ever would. The question of how Noah knew for certain crossed Gansey’s mind, but he didn’t ask. Besides, he did know, and it was pointless information. Painful information, because it didn’t change anything.   
So instead, he murmured “It doesn’t matter, nothing can happen between us, we both know that.”  
“You could be in a relationship without kissing” Noah suggested.  
Gansey smiled "Kissing is not my only concern."  
"Adam wouldn't care." Gansey looked up at him suddenly. In that moment he realised he hadn't had a proper conversation with Noah for a long time. Which seemed rather odd for someone he considered a close friend, a part of his corner of the universe. Perhaps he was a good candidate for those types of conversations after all.   
Gansey was about to reply when Blue appeared by the table holding the half full pitcher of water "Refills anyone?" she asked loudly, then lowered her voice. "Where are the others?" She only looked at Gansey, which made him look across the table and realise Noah was gone. Maybe he was never there in the first place.  
"They all had prior engagements" he lied, not wanting to admit he'd been stood up.  
Blue dragged his glass over to her and poured water into it, keeping up appearences "What's the plan? Are we going back today?"   
"No. I want to find more information before going back" Blue started to protest but Gansey elaborated "it's too dangerous."  
"So what? Everything we do is dangerous"  
Gansey shook his head, though she had a point "I'm not risking anyone's life for something I'm looking for"   
"I don't need anyone to look after me" Blue replied with clenched teeth. "You may be looking for Glendower, but I'm looking for my mother" Blue's voice wavered and Gansey had to stop himself from reaching out for her. "it's fine, I can go back without you" Blue spun on her heel and walked away from their table.   
"Jane... Wait-"  
"My name is Blue!" She shouted. A few people on surrounding tables glanced up at her, but she ignored them, keeping her eyes trained on Gansey. He tried to plead with his eyes, make her understand, he even tried to think of something to say, but her eyes pinned him to the spot, making it near impossible to think at all. She was the first to look away, stomping back to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want me to continue posting chapters to this story please let me know, and if all goes well, chapter 3 will be up soon


	3. Chapter 3

Blue was lying on her bed when she heard a knock at the door.  
“I don’t want any tea, Persephone” Blue called out. Persephone has asked her six times if she wanted tea. Blue had said no every time but Persephone didn’t seem to understand that she wanted to be left alone. When she arrived home from her shift, she collapsed into bed, feeling deflated. It was getting harder and harder for her to act like she was okay. The knocking came again and Blue jumped up and flung open the door.  
“I just want to be...”Gansey stood in front of her, his hair ruffled and a look of concern on his face "alone." In his hands he was holding a cup of tea I guess Persephone pestered him too.  
“Terribly sorry. Should I go?” Gansey asked, stepping away. Blue considered letting him leave, but she couldn’t ignore the stuttering her heart gave when he looked at her.  
“No” Ignoring her better judgment, Blue pulled Gansey into the room by his arm and closed the door behind him.   
He raised an eyebrow at her “That defeats the point of wanting to be alone.”  
“Look, could you just, not be clever right now. I need a friend, not a scholar.” Blue sighed, walking over to her bed, collapsing with her arms covering her eyes.  
“Alright, I apologise” When she felt the mattress dip, her eyes met Gansey's. He sat next to her looking sheepish. Blue noticed he had set his cup of tea on the bedside table.  
“I called Adam” She admitted.  
“Did you get an answer?”  
She shook her head, no. "I just needed someone to talk to. He used to be someone I could rely on, but now..." Blue drew invisible patterns with her fingers on the quilt, staring at them to avoid looking at him. When Gansey realised this he leaned forward to take her hands.  
"You can. Adam is just, going through difficulties. Besides, if you need someone to talk to, you have me." Blue bit her lip to stop its quivering. It was only then that she realised how good of a friend Gansey was. She knew she could believe what he had just said. Maybe she did overreact a bit with him. He was only looking out for her after all.  
"I'm sorry for screaming at you earlier. In absence of Maura, I'm going a little crazy"  
"It's okay, you were right anyway. Which is why" he paused, as if choosing his next words carefully "I'll go back to the forest first thing tomorrow morning" Blue perked up at that, turning on him suddenly.  
"Let me come with you."  
"No! No, if anything happened to you, I would never..." He drifted off, probably realising how cliché he sounded.   
"Well, what if something happened to you?"  
"I'll be alright. Let me do this alone, Jane. Let me do this for you, for your mother."  
Blue wasn't happy with this arrangement, especially since he used an insufficient argument. However, she knew Gansey was just as stubborn as she was. There was no point arguing about it. Deciding to play along for now, Blue said "Alright, I'll stay put" Using his shoulder as a pillow, she rested her head "Just promise you'll find her."  
"I will"  
"I miss her" She wasn't as successful at hiding her grief this time. A tear rolled down her cheek and Gansey caught it at the corner of her lips. His thumb pressed there for a few seconds, before slipping across her bottom lip, a gesture she was almost too familiar with. When he spoke, it came out as more of a croak than his usual smooth voice.   
"I should probably go now" Blue nodded, trying to hide her disappointment.   
Blue couldn't have been as good an actress as she thought, because he said "Unless you want me to stay..."  
"I don't really want to be alone right now, so yeah. That would be nice."  
"Strange, that's all you wanted earlier."  
Blue shrugged "I was wrong."  
Seeming to know exactly what she needed, Gansey sat back on the bed and pulled her in for a hug. Blue buried her face into his neck and inhaled, filling her whole senses with Gansey, one of the few people she could rely on.   
She thought back to when she was last upset, in this very bed and her mother comforted her because of Gansey, and here he was now, comforting her because she missed her mother. Back then, they needed no words. Just each other. Right now, it was just as simple.  
The next few hours were spent much the same. Sometimes they spoke, other times the silence was comforting enough. At some point during the night, Gansey lay back against the headboard, pulling Blue with him. Closing her eyes, she tried desperately to not think of him in that way. It didn't work. She thought of how much she would like to kiss him, even played with the idea for a while. Until his indistinct spirit in the churchyard was all she could see on the backs of her eyelids. He deserves to know, doesn't he?   
When the silence became overbearing, Blue blurted "I saw you."  
"What?"  
Blue sat up slowly to face him, rubbing her eyes as she rose "On St Mark's Eve."  
Confusion lined his features "At the church? You were there?" Blue nodded "You mean, you saw me in the car" Blue shook her head "Then what do you mean?"  
"Every year on St Mark's Eve I would go with my Maura to write down the names of the spirits that would die for the next year, though this year I went with Neeve and this year..."  
"You saw me."  
Blue saw the pain in Gansey's eyes and a feeling of regret washed over her. Why did she tell him? What good did it do? Worrying about his death shouldn't be how he spends the last few months of his life. Blue wanted nothing more in that moment than to be wrapped in his arms again, imagining a kiss.  
His stare was fixed on the far wall of her bedroom, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb, his other hand tapped his knee. Blue's best guess was that he was absorbing the information, going deep into his mind.   
"But I thought you weren't clairvoyant" Of all the responses Blue was expecting, this wasn't one of them.  
"You were the only spirit I saw, which either means I'll fall in love with you or I'll be the one to kill you... or both."  
"You'll kill me out of love?"  
"No. I guess... by kissing you."  
His eyes glazed over as he considered this "What a way to go."  
"You seem to be taking this awfully well."  
"If I am to die in the next couple of months, I'd rather it be caused by a kiss than any other way. Hey" he said gently, taking my hand again "Don’t worry about me. I'll be okay."  
Tears made tracks on her cheeks and she had to resist the urge to throw her arms around him, so stop anyone from ever taking him away. "I don't want you to die."   
Gansey didn't respond at first, but his painful expression was enough to make her heart ache. Making irritated sounds, Blue rubbed furiously at her eyes at an attempt to dry them. After a moment, she felt Gansey's hands on her face, helping her and he finally spoke.   
"You should sleep. And don't worry, I promise I'll be right here when you wake up." Even after learning of his fate, he put her needs first. Blue felt a new wave of determination. On her search for her mother, she would find a way to save Gansey too. She had to.  
They both lay in Blue's bed. Gansey slightly propped up on her pillows, his arms around Blue's middle, and her head lay on her chest. Blue could hear the slowing beat of Gansey's heart as his breath deepened, and couldn't help but wonder how much longer that heart would be beating for, before falling asleep.  
***  
Blue woke up an hour later. Tears still stained her face, but that was the least of her concerns. Gansey was still asleep, with his arms still wrapped around her. From what Blue had heard about his insomnia, it was a miracle he was sleeping at all. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so comfortable, and she almost decided to stay, almost.  
As she slipped out of bed, she whispered a quick apology to Gansey, smoothing his ruffled hair as she did so. The keys for the Pig were easy to find in his jacket draped over her desk chair. Blue glanced over her shoulder at him when she opened the door. I'm doing this for you, Gansey.  
She left as silently as she could, jumped in the car, and drove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. next chapter will be up soon x


	4. Chapter 4

Gansey and Blue sat in his car, much like a few nights before, staring out into the darkness. Blue leaned her head on Gansey's shoulder and her stifling scent was too overpowering for him, he couldn't stop himself. He turned suddenly to face her and lifted her chin. Blue's eyes filled with panic, and tried to stop him. Stop him from doing this, telling him he would die if he did, but Gansey silenced her protests by pressing his lips hard against hers. Blue yelped in surprise but didn't pull away, and instead, pulled his head impossibly closer, until it was hard to distinguish where her lips ended and his began.

He held his breath, waiting. Waiting for that awful thing to happen, for death to come and take him away, but it didn't. He pulled away to look at Blue and they both laughed. Relief flooded the both of them, and fisting her hand in his shirt, Blue reeled him back in. Gansey kissed a path down her neck and back up, lingering sweetly on her lips. Blue was just as adventurous, tugging at his bottom lip and running her tongue along it.

Gansey suddenly found himself in his bed with Blue straddling him. He couldn't see much in the darkness of his room. In fact, Blue was all he could see, her dark choppy hair obscuring much of her face. He began to wonder how they'd managed to get from his car to his bed in the blink of an eye, when she leaned down to kiss him once more. At which point all coherent thoughts left his mind.

Blue sat back and began to laugh. Gansey thought it was due to her being able to kiss him, this was her first kiss after all and he certainly feels giddy himself. But he knew he'd thought wrong when he saw the flash of silver in her hand. A dagger. Gansey's first thought was how she'd been able to hide such a thing when he'd been with her all day, but that became the least of his problems when she raised it high above him. Her arm swung down and Gansey caught it. He struggled for a while to keep the dagger as far away from him as possible, but after a while, she gained an unfair amount of strength, beating him in their fight. Her mouth curled into a grin, resembling that of the Cheshire cat and plunged her arm downward. The dagger sunk into his chest.

Gansey's eyes snapped open and clutched his chest; much to his relief, he was alive and still lay in Blue's bed. But even before looking, he knew Blue wasn't there. He could feel the absence of warmth. He looked around the room, to see if she was still in the room somewhere, but only the barest of moonlight came through the window. Certainly not enough to distinguish the lumps of shadowed objects and furniture.

"Blue" he whispered, but no answer came. He sighed and slipped out from under the sheets. He considered looking for her, but it was probably best to just leave. There was no point torturing himself further with her presence. It was hard to stop himself from acting upon impulse when they shared a bed, when he felt her heart beat against his own and her nose was buried in his neck.

The dream- or rather, nightmare- he'd just woken up from didn't appear to discourage him from wanting to kiss her. He tried not to over-think the dream too much, as he often did. However, he was thankful that he didn't have the same abilities as Ronan. The last think he needed was a crazed, murder hungry Blue on the loose. She was scary enough without a dagger.

He grabbed his coat from the back of a chair and left, creeping as silently as possible through a house full of people who probably knew he was going to leave before he did. Hopefully, Blue wouldn't care too much that he left. She'd understand. Where is she anyway?

It was only when Gansey had walked outside and noticed his pig missing, did he realise that his car key was also missing.

"Jane" he sighed angrily, digging a hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He waited several minutes for her to pick up before giving up, his anxiety rising every time he heard the dial tone. Of course, he knew where she had gone; back to that forest to look for her mother. Why couldn't she just wait for him, or tell him at least? That reason was simple. It's Blue, this is what she does and Gansey would be lying if he said he didn't admire her for it.

How was he going to get there? There was Blue's bike but it was far enough in just a car. If he cycled who knows what might have happened by the time he got there. That's why he called Ronan next, and then spent the next ten minutes waiting for a ride. He chewed his nails and tapped his foot against the sidewalk while he anxiously waited, willing Blue to be okay and stay safe.

When Ronan finally pulled up to the curb, Gansey jumped into the car, told him the directions and without question, Ronan sped away. They sat in silence for the most part, but curiosity got the better of Ronan about half way to their destination.

"So why did you give Blue your car?"

"I didn't. She took it."

"And you didn't realize at the time?"

"I fell asleep. I assumed she had too."

"Gross. Never mind, I don't want to know what you were doing."

"It's not like that."

"You were in bed with her, how was I supposed to see it?" He took a moment to drag his eyes off the road and scrutinize Gansey, but all he did was shrug "Well don't let Adam find out." Gansey could agree to that, he didn't need any more reason to piss Adam off.

When they arrived, Gansey didn't give Ronan a chance to stop the car before jumping out and running into the forest, stumbling on his way out. Everything looked much the same, the leaf shed trees swayed in the light breeze, their crooked branches dancing, adding effect to this choreographed dance. The rain sodden leaves squelched beneath Gansey's feet, creating a continuous rhythm, and soon another pair of feet joined in, as Ronan caught up.

Gansey headed toward the tree he and Blue had discovered a few days before, repeating the same few words in his mind. Be okay, please, be okay. They weren't far from the tree when he found her, kneeling in the leaves, facing away from him. He was so relieved he didn't think to question what she was doing.

"Jane, I was so worried something..." Gansey trailed off when Blue turned, tears stained her cheeks and blood coated her hands and shirt. He ran towards her but only when he got closer did he notice the body lying behind her.

"Gansey. I don't know what happened. One minute he was fine and then... oh god... what are we going to do?" Tears threatened to spill and Gansey caught her in a hug. He looked over the top of her head at the body and his whole body tensed. Ronan stared at the body too, looking just as shocked as Gansey felt. His hair was ruffled and blood ran from his nose and stained the shirt they'd seen him wear a thousand times before.

The body was Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


	5. Chapter 5

Gruesome shadows lined the road on both sides as Blue drove as fast as the Pig could manage. Which was to say, it wasn’t fast at all. Her hands shook with the thought of where she was heading back to. What other horrors could she expect to find on her return?  
Her vision blurred and a sudden dizziness caused her to lose control of the steering wheel slightly. Out of fear of harming Gansey’s car and herself, she pulled over to the side of the road. She was starting to panic, overwhelmed thinking about her mother- alone, wherever she was, and Adam avoiding her at all costs, and least of all, she thought of herself. How could she do this on her own after all that happened the last time? Why didn’t she just wait until the morning, until the light of day? Would she find her mother tonight, or have to wait days, maybe weeks to finally have her back. If at all. These were all questions she asked herself with her head in her lap and her fingers gripping her hair.   
How much she would have loved not to be alone at that moment. She thought back to a little less than an hour ago, when she had Gansey’s company. His arm wrapped around her middle and his warm breath on the back of her neck. She half considered driving back to embrace his warmth once more, and pretend that every time she looked at him, she didn’t see the ghost that haunted the churchyard. But Blue had come so far, and pretending didn’t mean anything in the real world. Pretending only brought a moment of happiness in a lifetime of pain. She had to do this, so that one day, she could spend time with Gansey without having to worry about her damn curse or his poor spirit on St. Marks Eve.   
With a renewed sense of determination, she drove to the edge of the forest where her and Gansey had escaped a few days earlier.   
***  
The forest was different this time, Blue couldn’t explain it exactly, it just felt calmer. However that didn’t change how anxious she felt, nor did it help shake the feeling she was being watched. She crunched along, stepping carefully to avoid being heard by anyone who could be around and kept her eyes peeled at her surroundings. Something shot out of the bushes, startling her and causing her to fall. It was merely a crow, flapping a squaking, another following close behind the first. She could still hear them crying and their wings rustling the leaves as she stood and tried in vain to brush the mud and leaves off her jeans. Seeing a faint light in the distance, she decided to follow it, finding herself face to face with the tree she was originally looking for.  
The moonlight shone through the cracks between the leaves- presumably the source of the light- making the scene look almost beautiful, until she noticed the figure in the distance. It was only then that she could hear their voice. As Blue drew closer to the figure, she began to notice a few things. A little taller than her, the rip at the bottom of their jeans, familiar haircut, the shirt she knew all too well.   
But it couldn’t be Blue denied herself to believe. This person’s voice was a harsh deep whisper and spoke in an incomprehensible language, certainly not a language he would know. She was a few meters away from him when he turned, obviously hearing her crunching footsteps, and Adam’s face greeted her. But not quite Adam, she could only see the whites of his eyes and his expression was sombre.  
He cocked his head, regarding her before speaking again. “Os ydych am fyw, peidiwch dod nôl” he said in a hoarse voice. Not knowing what Adam was saying, she tried to detect the language instead. Welsh? She’d heard Gansey practising his own welsh plenty of times but couldn’t be sure.   
She decided to actually do something, rather than uselessly stand there, so she stepped closer to him slowly, like a hunter approaching a deadly creature. “A- Adam... I know you’re in there somewhere Adam, just snap out of this. Please Adam.”  
Adam- or whatever was controlling him– however did not answer. He just stood dumbly, without a hint of emotion creasing his face. Feeling brave, Blue reached out to take his hand “Adam...” The moment her hand touched his cool fingers, he gasped, collapsing to the ground. He writhed and convulsed, and soon enough blood escaped in a steady flow from his nose. Blue fell next to him- no longer caring whether her jeans got muddy- and clutched his arm.  
“Adam” she cried. He stilled but blood continued to spread and stain his shirt. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed there by his side, trying to wake him, but it wasn’t long before she heard footsteps approaching her from behind.   
“Jane, I was so worried something...” Blue turned to see Gansey running over to her, though he hesitated when he saw Adam. Ronan ran past her to Adam’s side to check his pulse. Blue stumbled toward Gansey.   
“Gansey. I don’t know what happened. One minute he was fine and then... oh god... what are we going to do?” Tears threatened to spill and Gansey caught her in a hug.  
“He’s alive” said Ronan, and Blue felt as if she could finally breathe again. “We’d better get him back to our place before that changes though.”   
***  
By the time they got back to the cars, the bleeding had stopped, though Adam was still cause for concern. Ronan took his own car back to Monmouth Manufacturing while Gansey drove the Pig with Blue in the back and Adam’s head in her lap. She watched Gansey in the rear view mirror, trying to gauge his emotion. Was he annoyed at her? Even if he wasn't, she owed him an apology.  
“I’m sorry Gansey, for taking your car” He didn’t say anything for a while, he was probably trying to think of something frustratingly profound to say, but in the end went with:  
“It’s okay” in that oddly reassuring voice of his, the one that always made her think- or rather believe- everything was going to be alright, and goodness knows everyone needs a person like that in their lives. “It’s probably a good thing you took it anyway, who knows what might have happened to Adam otherwise?” She met his eyes in the rear view mirror.  
“Yeah. It’s almost like a coincidence” Blue couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw a smile on his face.   
“How’s he doing?” Gansey asked, referring to Adam. Blue pulled her eyes away from Gansey enough to glance down at Adam. He looked the same as a few minutes earlier. Messy hair, most of the blood removed from his face thanks to Ronan’s jacket, though the same couldn’t be said about his favourite t-shirt. He almost looked serene. As if this entire night- or morning, Blue noted, noticing the rising sun on the horizon- had never happened.   
“He’s still breathing. That’s good enough, right?”  
“It’s definitely good enough for us.”  
***  
When they arrived at Monmouth Manufacturing, Ronan and Gansey took Adam straight to Ronan’s room, laying him on his bed. As they passed, Noah appeared for a few seconds, not looking at all interested, as if this was a regular occurrence for him and faded into the air once more, but not before giving Blue a small smile.   
Blue noticed a pile of grammar and language books piled up at the edge of the wall, and her fingers were itching to find out what Adam (or whoever possessed him) had said to her. Before she had the chance to, however, Gansey reappeared from Ronan’s bedroom. It would have been a futile attempt anyway, she could hardly remember what he had said to her, and it would take a lot of time for something that probably didn’t mean anything. She was thinking so hard, in her own little world, that she didn’t notice Gansey staring at her.   
“Look, you’ve had a pretty crazy night, I’m sure you need some sleep. Take my bed, and don’t worry, I’ll wake you up in a few hours to give you an update on Adam.”  
“Are you sure you don’t need sleep too?”  
“Positive. I had enough sleep in your bed" Blue dropped her head, to ensure he didn't see her blush but raised it once more when he continued speaking "I’m quite used to being tired anyway.” He smiled before returning to Ronan and Adam.   
Blue thought it would take hours to fall asleep after the night she had had, but surrounded in all things Gansey, it only took seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and I hope you've enjoyed :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shwmae!
> 
> Yeah... It's been a while. I've had a difficult year and had basically next to no inspiration or motivation to write, but hopefully that's over now. So here it is. I hope you like it!

Blue looked peaceful while she slept. Her chest rising and falling at a steady pace, not even an indent of an old crease disturbed her relaxed face. Sunlight shone through the high window, casting a curved shadow of her eyelashes across her tear stained cheeks. Black half moons smudged the delicate skin under her eyes. All of these small details caught his eye, caught his fascination. She was pure perfection, Gansey had to force his eyes away from her when a door creaked behind him.  
Ronan emerged from his room, wiping his hands on his jeans.  
"Well?" Asked Gansey "How's he doing?"  
"He was awake long enough to eat, but he's asleep again now." He looked past Gansey and nodded toward Blue "she's been asleep a long time."  
"Jane had a late night, not a very average one at that."  
"You need to sleep too, Gansey. Just... nudge her out of bed or something."  
"I'm not tired."  
"You're always tired." Gansey didn't answer this, he couldn't deny it. After a few seconds of silence, Ronan sighed. "I'm going out. Keep an eye on Adam. Don't get..." His eyes trained on Blue once more "distracted."  
Gansey was about to protest, but Ronan was already out of the door. There wouldn't have been any point anyway, he was just as stubborn as anyone residing in Monmouth manufacturing.  
Gansey considered adding more buildings to his model, or reading up on Glendower, but he found himself sat on the end of his bed once more, next to the lump where Blue's feet lay.  
He considered lying next to her. Debated it with himself for a while, but he didn't. He knew it would be a bad idea. So he just sat and watched her sleep. Watched the flicker of her eyelids while she dreamt, listened to the quiet snort she made every few breaths.  
In the end, Gansey grabbed a book at random from one of his piles, and sat back next to Blue. He looked at the cover The Last Prince: Owain Glyndŵr. A book he’d read several times. Gansey knew everything he needed to know about Glendower, and more. It feels like he’s made progress, but none at all. Like a never-ending road, constantly getting closer, but never reaching the destination. He flipped through the book anyway, glancing at Blue every few pages, resisting the urge to touch her.  
Having re-absorbed all the knowledge he needed from that book, he picked up another- a Welsh to English dictionary. He thought about trying to translate the phrase Adam had spoken the night before- but even if he could remember it, there was no guarantee he’d be able to spell it. Instead, he chose another book.  
He wasn't sure how long he'd been there flicking through memoirs, history books and the like of Owen Glendower's but he thought it was about time he checked up on Adam. Gansey was about to stand, when Blue shifted and called softly.  
“Gansey.” He thought she was awake, but her eyes were still closed and her breathing still deep and consistent. A few strands of her hair had fallen onto her eyelids, and Gansey reached over to brush it out of the way. His hand had barely touched her cool skin when she gasped and sat up suddenly. Gansey jumped back, falling onto the floor by his bed.  
He rubbed his back, anticipating a bruise, but he didn’t take his eyes off of Blue. She was sat still, eyes trained forward, not moving a muscle. Slowly, he sat up and kneeled in front of her, so that his face was only inches away from hers. Blue still didn’t react, her glassy eyes looking right through him.  
“Blue” he spoke softly.  
The moment the word left his lips, she gripped him by the neck- her dark eyes finally focused on him. Gansey tried to speak, but only choked air came out. “If you kiss your true love, he will die” a voice spoke. Not her voice, but she was the one who spoke the words. Her grip was strong, strong enough that it started to crush his throat and Gansey panicked, trying to pry her hand away and breathe in any amount of air through his rapidly closing windpipe. Tears filled his eyes, and his vision started to turn black. Desperate, he tried to speak again, only succeeding a gasp of her name.  
“Blue… Please.”  
As sudden as it had started, it stopped. It took a few seconds for him to catch his breath but when Gansey opened his eyes, he saw the Blue he knew, she cupped her right hand and tears rolled down her cheeks.  
“Jane?” Gansey reached out, but she shrivelled away. Staring at her hand with distrust for a moment, before looking back at Gansey, eyes filled with fear.  
“What just happened, Jane?” he asked, slowly shuffling forward. He lightly touched the back of her hands, and when she allowed it, he took them in his.  
Blue shook her head, “I don’t know, I had an awful dream. We were-” she stopped speaking and looked up at his face, or more accurately his lips. “And then you were choking, I didn’t know what to do, I screamed for help but no one came. Something was choking you. Then I heard you, and… it was me. I was killing you, Gansey.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've already made a start on this fanfiction. So I have written 5 chapters so far, so I'll probably post the next chapter in a day or two- that is of course, if people enjoy this chapter.


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